In the Christian culture, we are taught not to be “showy” in regards to how we look. Rightfully so. 1 Timothy 2:9-10 describes the “respectable apparel” of a godly woman – which basically says we should not overly focus on our appearance nor seek to draw attention to ourselves.

However, there is something to say about not letting the pendulum swing too far. Meaning: our efforts to not be “showy” shouldn’t turn into a carelessness about our appearance. Realistically (where I live at least), very few of us will struggle with this type of imbalance. BUT, there is one way our endeavor to not be ostentatious can translate inappropriately. Specifically, in regards to our husbands. Without realizing it, we can lack intentionality and effort in regards to being attractive to our husbands. 

Wait, What?

Yes, I just implied you should put effort into looking good for your spouse. While this may strike a nerve with some of us, we all thought along these lines before we got married, right?! We looked nice when we went on dates. We did our hair. We wanted the guy to think we were cute (and we might even admit we wanted to be “hot stuff”)!

But fast forward a few years (or a few decades), and somehow we decide this is wrong thinking? Simply put, it is not. Merely read Song of Solomon to be convinced. In that book, there is a clear celebration of physical attraction between a husband and a wife. It is a gift from God to us.

In other words, it is not wrong that a husband is attracted to his wife – it is good and godly.

 Simple Logic

If your husband is a godly man, he will be attracted to you for a variety of reasons. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make yourself more or less attractive. Just turn the tables for a moment.  You would rather your husband not roll out of bed every day and refuse to ever shave again, right? You would enjoy staring in his eyes more if he got the “goup” out than if he didn’t.  Normal clothes on a “date night” would be preferred to your husband’s dirty baggy sweats. Admit it, you are more or less attracted to your husband depending on how he takes care of himself. You know it’s true.

So it is with us. We can be more or less attractive by how we take care of ourselves.

But It’s Not That Important…Right?!

Of course, this is NOT the biggest deal in a marriage. But, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter at all either.

As a wife, you should want to bring your husband joy. You should want to be a gift to your spouse. While you can do that, and be that, in many different ways, one small way is to take care of your physical appearance just for him – So that he can enjoy the gift of physical attraction that God gave to a husband and a wife.

This Does Not Mean What You Think It Means

Hollywood has messed many things up, and beauty is one of them. We have left our screens and magazines thinking we need to be perfectly proportionate, size 0 skinny, and all-around flawless. Well, that just isn’t reality, and it’s certainly not the goal.

The goal is to take care of what God gave you. It means being thoughtful about your health, and putting in a little effort to look nice. Perhaps most importantly, it means doing it because you want to be a gift to your husband, not because you want to impress your girlfriends or feel good about yourself.

The way to accomplish the goal is not to obsess about your body, squander money on expensive clothes, dress immodestly, or spend hours getting ready. For most of us, it’s just a change in thinking – we need to realize that our bodies are meant to be admired and enjoyed by a particular person on the planet (your husband), and thus we should put a little effort into making them more admirable for that person.

So dress to impress!…Not to impress everyone, but to grab the attention of your husband. And when you do, know that you are actually being quite godly.

 


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    2 Comments

  1. Noelle M April 25, 2017 at 3:18 pm Reply

    Awesome article; it’s important to balance, as the relationship ought not be one-sided in any respect!
    I am curious: what does this mean, then, for the single woman? How does this relate and how should they think about this?

    • Heather Pace April 25, 2017 at 3:26 pm Reply

      Great question! I think the principle of taking care of our body (and not being careless in our appearance) applies whether or not one ever gets married. Being generally healthy, and presenting yourself well, are good things to do as Christian women in general. It’s a good way to take care of the bodies God gave us. Not to mention good health will likely allow us to serve God better with more energy!

      Also, for a gal who hoped to one day get married – I would want to encourage her to take care of herself now for the benefit of her future husband. Just like a single gal should be growing in godliness so she can be a better wife – so should a single gal want to put effort into her appearance (to a reasonable degree) in order to be a gift for the man she marries. But of course, amidst all of this “effort” I wrote about, it needs to be filtered through the biblical principle that we should be women who dress modestly, not being “showy”, or seeking to draw undue attention to ourselves.

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