Be a Fun Wife!
As wives, we wear a lot of hats. We want to be good wives, of course—but we also juggle responsibilities at church, in our community, or workplace. Add to that a long list of domestic duties. Then there are friendships to nurture, children to care for, maybe a workout to squeeze in… you get the idea.
With so many directions pulling on us, it’s easy to slip into “get-it-done” mode. Our days become ruled by to-do lists, and our personality can drift into what I like to call “tasky” (an unofficial term for being all about the tasks). This mindset might help us check things off our list—but if we carry it into time with our husbands, we can end up zapping the fun right out of our marriage.
A “Fun-Killer”? …Not Me!
To find out if you’re accidentally becoming a fun-zapper, see if any of these sound familiar:
You’re still stressed out when your husband gets home.
You don’t laugh with him like you used to.
Most conversations revolve around domestic “business.”
You don’t want to go on dates—there’s too much to do.
You don’t enjoy dates—there’s too much on your mind.
Any creative hangout idea sounds exhausting.
You have a hard time relaxing around him.
You believe there’s no time for fun.
We all have stressful seasons, so some of these may ring true from time to time. But if they’ve become the norm, you might be slipping into “fun killer” mode.
Does God Even Sanction Fun?
Let’s be clear: life isn’t about fun. I remind my kids of this regularly. Our lives should be about God—and being used to accomplish his will. But that doesn’t mean God is against enjoyment. In fact, he gives many good gifts, and marriage is certainly one of them.
Just look at how Proverbs describes a godly wife:
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” — Proverbs 18:22
“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.” — Proverbs 12:4
“She is far more precious than jewels.” — Proverbs 31:10
“Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth.” — Proverbs 5:18
These verses aren’t specifically about being “fun,” but they point to a wife who is a joy and a blessing to her husband. And we can all admit—it’s not very enjoyable to spend time with someone who is always in stress or business mode.
Another biblical reason for embracing fun in marriage is rooted in our role as a helpmate. Our husbands wear a lot of hats too. They carry their own stresses and burdens—and part of being a help to them is offering some relief. If a husband knows his wife genuinely enjoys him, he’ll feel more ready to face the pressures of life. That kind of “help” might be even more refreshing than a clean kitchen or a fancy dinner.
What If I Forgot How to Have Fun?
Before marriage, we all knew how to have fun. We looked forward to dates. We did spontaneous things just to enjoy each other. We didn’t have to try to have fun—it came naturally.
It’s time to bring that part of ourselves back.
“Fun” doesn’t have to mean silly or immature. It simply means enjoyment, amusement, or lighthearted pleasure. In marriage, that might look like a hike together, a cozy movie night, a good meal, or a deep conversation over coffee. It could be creative or low-key—but at its core, fun means enjoying each other.
It doesn’t have to happen all the time—but it should happen. We should be dating our husbands. We should be investing in the relationship. And just like we find joy in doing something fun with a child or a close friend, we should delight in planning something our spouse would enjoy.
Get creative—or don’t. Just make space for some good times together.
More Than a Date
A weekly date night is great, but “fun” is more than an event. It’s a mindset. We can learn to loosen up and enjoy each other in the everyday—in the car, at dinner, even while brushing our teeth.
Are there moments when you could laugh, but you’re too worked up to enjoy them?
Would your husband light up if you belted the song on the radio with him?
What if you flirted with him a little?
Imagine the joy he’d feel if you laid a big kiss on him just because.
These little moments whisper, I like being with you.
Have Fun!
This may not seem like a deeply biblical topic, but being this kind of wife actually reflects a ton of biblical principles. It shows:
You’re not growing bitter or cold (Ephesians 4:32).
You love your husband selflessly (Matthew 7:12).
You trust God enough to be joyful (Psalm 20:7; Philippians 4:4).
You want to be the kind of wife your husband delights in (Proverbs 5:18).
Being a fun wife might be more godly than we first assume.
So, ladies—go have some fun!