Talking With Our Kids About the Death of Charlie Kirk
I had a friend ask me how my older kids are processing the death of Charlie Kirk. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t really have an answer. The past 24 hours had been so fast-paced, there was little time to talk on any serious level.
But I immediately felt convicted—something horrific had happened and I hadn’t sat down with them for a meaningful conversation. As soon as I could, I did. And I am so glad we did.
My job is to disciple my kids—and moments like this are some of the most important times to do it. I don’t mean my 3- and 4-year-olds; those conversations will come later. But for my tweens and teens, whose friends are already talking about the turmoil in our country, this is the time to be present and help them wrestle through real issues. If I stay silent, I’m neglecting one of my greatest callings as a mom: to disciple them and direct them to truth.
What a sacred task we’ve been given as parents—to point our kids to God’s Word, to help them make sense of life through a biblical lens, and to walk with them when life feels messy and confusing. This is one of those moments. We need to be there, and we need to be ready.
Here are four things to consider as you step into this moment with them:
1. Be a Good Listener
There are likely aspects of Charlie’s death that weigh heavily on you. But before you share your thoughts, take time to understand what’s weighing most on your kids. They may have only picked up fragments of the story. They may be wrestling with conflicting viewpoints, disturbed by what they’ve seen online, or they may simply feel compassion for a family who lost someone.
Ask them open-ended questions and let the conversation unfold. Listen closely to what’s on their hearts—it may not be what you expect. Listening not only communicates care, it also helps you know how to gently guide their thinking toward truth.
2. Show Them Where You Turn
When something big happens, our first instinct is often to turn to the “voices” of our culture. We want to see what the big names are saying and how others are reacting. But is that really where we should turn first—or most?
Of course not. Just hours before her husband’s death, Erika Kirk posted these words from Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” That’s the reminder we need. He is the one we turn to.
There’s no doubt we can gain wisdom and perspective from listening to intelligent, godly voices responding to the situation. But those should never replace the true Source of comfort. Let’s first turn to our Lord—let’s talk to him in prayer and open his Word for truth. And let’s help our kids do the same.
3. Focus on Our Good God
In times of tragedy, we never want God’s character to be the one on trial. Scripture makes clear that he is good, he is powerful, he is just, and he is still on his throne.
We need to remind our kids that we can trust God’s sovereign plan—even when we don’t understand it. Romans 8:28 assures us that he is working all things together for the good of his people. And Genesis 50:20 reminds us that even what people intend for evil, God can use for good.
No tragedy this week—and no tragedy to come—catches God by surprise or derails his good purposes.
That’s why we can keep a high view of God, even when we admit we don’t understand what’s happening. We know he knows. And we know him.
4. Slow Down, Be Present, and Speak Truth
If you’re processing this tragedy through God’s Word, you already have what you need to help your kids. But they won’t benefit from your wisdom unless you’re truly present with them. That can be hard when you’re carrying your own emotions and juggling a busy schedule—but it’s worth the effort.
Being present might mean putting your phone down so you’re not distracted by the latest updates or hot takes. It might mean simplifying your plans so there’s margin for conversation. Or it might mean quieting your own racing thoughts so you can give your kids your full attention.
Whatever it looks like, don’t miss the opportunity to come alongside them in what they need most. Maybe they need a listening ear. Maybe they need help thinking about the brevity of life and how God has numbered our days. Maybe they need to wrestle with sin and justice—or maybe they’re indifferent when they shouldn’t be. They might even need to process what Charlie Kirk stood for, and how he pointed people to the gospel as of first importance.
After hearing their hearts, use these moments to teach and train them. Slow down, be there, and point them to truth.
Let’s Be Faithful
If only we didn’t have to discuss things like this—but we live in a broken world, and we can’t shelter our kids from these realities. Nor should we try. They will see more and experience more in the years to come, and now is the time to prepare them.
So may we be found faithful—pointing our kids to the only source of hope and truth. May we be present. May we demonstrate true faith and rock-solid peace, not because we have all the answers, but because we have a good God. And may we pass on a steady faith, showing our kids that even in a broken world, they can live with hope, peace, and courage.
