Why My Kids Don’t Have Social Media

We haven’t let our kids be on social media—and for now, we’re sticking to that plan. I realize some parents feel quite differently, and many have well thought-out reasons for allowing it.

One of the best arguments I’ve heard is from parents who know their teens will eventually join the social media scene (in college and beyond), so it’s best to train them to use it wisely while they’re still at home. That makes sense. They want their kids to know how to operate it all in a godly way—and who better to teach them than their parents?

But so far we’ve concluded it would be more detrimental than beneficial to open those doors. One day, that may change. In fact, we may soon open an account with our oldest and begin some hands-on training (and if we do, you can be sure I’ll write about it). But for now, accounts remain unopened.

As you think through your own approach to this, here are eight reasons we’ve chosen to say no thus far.

1. It Encourages More Screen Time

There is so much screen time as it is. Kids do homework on screens. They take and edit pictures on screens. They text, play games, watch shows… the list goes on.

Whenever I can encourage less screen time, it seems like a wise idea. Too often we’re missing out on real-world experiences with people, conversations, nature, and exercise because screens are hard to escape. Worse yet, spiritual disciplines and godly pursuits can easily get crowded out by the pull of the screen.

Skipping social media is one less pull in that direction.

2. It Feeds the Desire for Approval

Who isn’t affected by what others think of them? And yet, “the fear of man lays a snare…” (Proverbs 29:25).

Social media puts that craving for approval on steroids. Every post, every picture, every caption becomes a way to seek praise—or receive critique. It’s a constant source of potential applause, and while that might seem fun, it can easily lead to distraction, discouragement, or even depression.

I don’t want my kids caught in the trap of constantly caring what people think—real life already brings enough of that.

Not to mention, pursuing approval on social media often happens quietly and privately. Instead of working through that temptation in real relationships—where people can speak into your life—it’s easy to chase attention online without anyone really noticing.

3. It Encourages Self-Centeredness

Social media makes us ultra-aware of what people think of us—and it makes us think more about ourselves. We are already self-centered people by nature (see Philippians 2:3–4), and creating an online presence tends to amplify that. Our pages, our posts, our pictures… they all revolve around us.

Yes, social media can be used for selfless and meaningful purposes—but it’s incredibly difficult to do so consistently, even as maturing adults. My thought is most teens aren’t quite ready for this battle.

4. It Keeps Them from Being Present at Home

When they’re home, I want them home. I want them as mentally and emotionally present as possible.

It’s hard enough to fight the constant pull of a social world that’s always just a text away. But when my kids are with family, I want them engaged—with siblings, with conversations, with domestic life. I want them influenced by the culture we’re building in our home, not the one constantly screaming behind an app.

There’s an endless world of noise in every social media platform. Once that noise comes in, it’s hard to quiet.

5. It Feeds FOMO

Some kids really struggle with the fear of missing out—and social media only fuels it.

When you can constantly see what others are doing, gone are the days of contentment. You’re not just where you are—you’re constantly aware of where you’re not. That awareness can lead to anxiety or pressure to be included in everything.

I realize FOMO is something some teens may need to work through—but there are plenty of real-life opportunities to do that without the amplified, always-on version that social media brings.

6. It Normalizes Immodesty

Whether from friends’ posts or random algorithm suggestions, immodesty is everywhere. And if you want your teen to pursue modesty, this is not what should be filling their vision daily.

It’s basically a matter of whether you want the world (and sometimes the worst of it) to be constantly in their sight. We can’t shelter them from seeing what’s out there—but we can prevent it from being in their face constantly.

7. It Sucks Up Time

Our kids only have so many hours in a day. Do we really want social media to take up a chunk of those hours?

If your teens are like mine, there are already plenty of good things competing for their time. I’d hate to see better things crowded out by the temptation to scroll longer than planned. (And let’s be honest—who hasn’t lost precious time to it, especially in an already full day?)

Let’s teach our kids to make the best use of their time (Eph. 5:15–16).

8. It Replaces Real Relationships

“Friends” and “followers” can’t replace real relationships—but they sure try to.

It’s been said that we’re a more isolated society partly because we socialize behind screens. Online interactions can feel social—but lack the depth of real connection. I want my kids forming relationships that develop their character and draw them closer to Christ—not just ones that generate likes.

Final Thoughts 

There are other good reasons to avoid social media: safety concerns, double lives, addiction, and the impact on brain development. But these eight hit closest to home for me.

And again, you may have ten reasons you think it is worth it.

Each family needs to consider the personalities, temptations, and needs of their own kids. All of us are trying to steward the souls entrusted to us. For some, that might include training kids to use social media early on. For others, it might mean holding off.

Either way, we shouldn’t make this decision casually. It requires great care and intentionality.

Because here’s something we probably don’t think through often enough: though social media feels normal—when you look through the corridor of time, it’s not. This isn’t a rite of passage. It’s not something teens are entitled to. It’s not a must. It’s an add-on.

So let’s think carefully: when is it worth adding on? And if we do open that door, let’s not simply hand it over without guidance and training. Considering the possible dangers, it’s something worth approaching thoughtfully.