Building a Spiritually Intentional Home—One Habit at a Time

Some examples fade quickly. But every now and then, one leaves a lasting mark.

I want to tell you about a family that has deeply impacted mine. To be honest, I barely know them—but my husband does, and I’ve heard all about their life and rhythms through him.

This family is marked by conviction and joy. They spend time in God’s Word every day (yes, every day), together as a family. They sing worship songs. They’ve built rhythms into their week—like date nights for mom and dad, and a dedicated family fun night. Their kids have chores and real responsibilities (the kind that don’t require bribery). Everyone contributes and works hard at home. And they genuinely like each other—there’s an unmistakable joy in simply being a family and growing in the Lord together.

And here’s the real kicker: more than twenty children call this their family.

Yes, you read that right! The parents have a handful of biological kids, a handful of adopted kids, and several other children who spend most of their time in this home.

Sounds like a family from another world, doesn’t it?

Well, they do live in Africa. They’re missionaries. So there are certainly some unique factors making this life possible. But here’s what struck me most—something every family can emulate no matter where they reside: intentionality. And not just any kind—a fervent, spiritually-minded, biblically-saturated intentionality.

Basically, this family is doing what we all should do—they are making the most of the time they have with the children in their home. They looked at the fullness of their lives and developed rhythms to make sure the most important things were in place. And if they can do that with 20+ children and a full plate of missionary responsibilities, I think we can too.

Are you inspired like I was?

Their example made me stop and ask: What are we building in our own home? What kind of rhythms are we passing down? And most importantly, are we investing in our children the way Scripture calls us to?

Investing Well

Of all the goals we have in life, what is more important than helping our kids learn a rhythm of life that puts God front and center? 

Nothing, right?

But this isn’t just logic—this is exactly what God tells His people to do. Early on, when God gave Moses instructions for Israel, He told them to love and fear Him, and then pass that on to the next generation. They were to teach their kids diligently (Deuteronomy 6:7). They were to talk of God’s ways when they sat down, when they walked, when they got up… basically all the time.

It’s a high standard, but it’s quite simple. We should be so personally wrapped up in the truths of God that it spills over into our daily life. We should be so focused on the Lord that we naturally point our kids in his direction.

But for as simple as it is, we—like the Israelites—are prone to forget. We get busy. Distracted. Pulled in a dozen directions. So how do we actually live out a Deuteronomy 6 kind of life in the middle of real schedules, real messes, and real fatigue?

That’s where intentional strategies can really help.

One that’s been especially helpful for me is something the world calls “habit stacking.”

Spiritual Habit Stacking

You may have heard of this productivity tip: take a habit you’re already doing—and add a small habit to it. Instead of trying to create a whole new routine from scratch, you build on what’s already in place.

People do this all the time to become stronger, more efficient, or more organized—or whatever the goal may be. But we can use this approach to develop rhythms in our day that help our families stay more focused on the Lord! (Which is far more important than strength, efficiency, or organization.)

So what can you add to something you’re already doing with your kids? Maybe start by asking: What do they need more of spiritually?

• Could you use more time in God’s Word together? (Probably! Who doesn’t?)

• Would it be good if you all prayed more as a family? (Most likely we should all say yes to that!)

• Are there particular truths you want to focus on—like God’s attributes or His promises to His people?

• Are there missionaries you could start praying for more consistently?

• Are there books you want them to read—or audiobooks you could listen to as a family?

• Are there verses you should all memorize?

There are so many great options. Just pick one or two to start.

Then, find a natural moment in the day to build that habit in. Whether it’s at breakfast, in the car, before getting on devices, or at bedtime—just choose a consistent time and stack the habit on top.

Sure, there will be a learning curve as you implement something new. But even if you don’t do it perfectly—won’t your family still be better off?

If you only memorize God’s Word three days instead of seven, isn’t that better than zero?
If you only read one new book a year, isn’t that better than none?
If you only pray for one missionary a week, isn’t that better than never thinking about it?

It’s a win if you add anything.

How This Looks in Our Home

After reflecting on that family’s example—and what God calls us to in Deuteronomy 6—we started asking what it could look like in our home.

We looked at our week and asked, “What could we start building in—even in small ways?”

No, we haven’t stuck with every habit we hoped to add. But there are a few new rhythms we do most weeks, and I’m genuinely thankful that this family’s example gave us the nudge.

For a while we had a “family breakfast.” Once a week, we made sure we were all at breakfast, we ate something potentially more delicious than the average morning, we’d read a Proverb, and then we talked about what stood out. It was simple, but it was something. 

Eventually mornings became more difficult and we decided to incorporate Bible reading into any dinner where we were all present. We’d go through one chapter, with each person reading a verse until we got through the whole chapter (everyone reading keeps everyone engaged). And we’d discuss it a little after. Occasionally we’d even head to the piano and allow our musically inclined children to lead us in a song (while us less musically inclined people made a “joyful noise”). 

We’ve also enjoyed what we call “Movie Milkshake Prayer Night” (MMPN for short). Basically, we paired something we knew the kids would love (a milkshake and a movie) with something we hope they grow to love (communal prayer time). And they all make sure we are doing MMPN each week!

But I should mention, none of these things look perfect. Besides our singing being awkwardly ugly (for half of us), we also have two little ones who are very distractible and often quite needy. Don’t picture Instagram-worthy Bible reading sessions. Picture a real family, with real messes, and real chaos, just trying to be intentional with the fleeting time we have together. 

What Moments Can You Seize?

No doubt—you also want to be a more fervent, spiritually-minded, biblically-saturated intentional home. Now is the time to seize the fleeting moments you have left. 

What can you add to what you already do? What’s one spiritual habit you could stack this week so you can focus your family more on Christ? 

Don’t aim for perfection, and there’s no need to make detailed ambitious plans—just take a step. Small, faithful habits make all the difference. Let’s invest better this year — just one small habit at a time.